my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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