He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
