All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
