So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
