glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
