Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
