a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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