That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature