did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
