I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
