I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
420 ftw
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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