It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Its about making memories worth repressing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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