remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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