I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize