The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What drink are we having for lunch?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
