there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
