guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
