I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
