i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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