I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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