u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There r osticjed everywhere
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
