Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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