never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize