Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
