thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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