do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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