i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
