pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
