Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
