Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
