Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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