I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
