fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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