Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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