O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
