So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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