your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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