i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
