My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
