we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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