Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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