i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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