y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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