'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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