just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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