maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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