farters have to be the big spoon...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
