And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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