What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
