I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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