We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
