Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
