So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
