Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
