One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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