she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
