The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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