you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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