i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
