It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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