M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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