So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
