The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
