CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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