this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
