Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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