I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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