it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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