you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Two words: nipple clamps
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