We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
FUCK WHALES
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
