3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
